Gary Chapman is a champion Love Language writer. If you've never heard of his series and your are unmarried, you'll get a copy of his Love Language book for couples as part of your wedding present from me! After a dear friend introduced to me, I quickly understood the role of love in marriage so much more. Chapman is a Christian and writes from that perspective. This particular book is an extension of the Love Language series. It focuses on explaining all of the basic 5 love languages that exist: 1) words of affirmation; 2) quality time; 3) physical touch; 4) acts of service; and 5) gifts. Chapman explains that each of us have a primary, and sometimes, secondary love language in which we naturally better understand/interpret love. In the marriage-relationship love language book (1st link below), he explains that spouses should learn to love one another in their primary love language. In other words, if I feel naturally loved through words and my husband feels naturally loved through acts of service; regardless of how much I tell him I love him, he'll feel it most deeply when I love him in HIS language, by serving him. Similarly, regardless of how many chores he does for me around the house or gifts he buys, i'll experience and understand his love more intimately and deeply when he expresses it with words since that's my love language. Now, the point to keep in mind is that we all speak all 5 languages, there's just 1 that is our primary.
Chapman has cloned this concept to relate to love languages with children, teenagers, and God. I've included links below to a few of his works in case your interested in reading them. This most recent book was the best of all! The premise of the book is that God loves us in all 5 love languages, but we tend to enjoy Him most intimately or naturally in our primary love language. We also tend to opt to love Him back in our primary love language. For example, my love language is words of affirmation, and my secondary love language is quality time. This reflects through my relationship with God because my routine of enjoying God or nourishing my Spirit is to read my Bible (His Word) each night before bed, journal (or write down words to describe) the work I've seen God do in my life that day, journal my prayer requests, spend time talking to God in prayer, and reading a good devotional book each night before bed. Words! Words! Words! It's all about conversation, writing words, and quality quiet time with Him. This is not to say that I do not enjoy expressing my love for God through service. Mother Theresa is an example that expressed her intimacy and closeness for God through acts of service by serving others.
You may be wondering, well how do I know what my love language is? The BEST way to know is to purchase the book and take the quiz in the back. A few other good ways to tell are to take note of what you naturally do to show others love. Are you a server? When you really care for someone are you eager to hug them or squeeze their shoulders? Do you just want to take a walk with them or enjoy a long chat? Do you want to write them a love letter? The way you naturally tend to love people is typically indicative of your love language. According to Chapman, people typically speak in their natural languages. This is often helpful to newly married couples when they realize that to communicate love effectively, you should try to love your spouse in their love language. In this book, Chapman explains that God loves us in all 5 languages. We can experience God intimately in all 5 languages and speak those in return. He also pushes the reader to explore other dialects of love with God to experience Him differently. It's a very interesting read. I enjoyed every minute of this very satisfying continuation of the Love Language theory.
The Heart of the 5 Love Languages
The 5 Love Languages of Children
The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers
The 5 Love Languages of God
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